The Longing to be Together
by Yoitemichealis
Summary: A nabari fic that takes place in chapter 50... Major spoilers, and i mean MAJOR. Miharu can't bring himself to erase the person he loves YoitexMiharu sadfluff Rated T cause it's nabari and a kiss in the second chapter
1. Death Won't Take You I Hope

**Well here's a Nabari no Ou fic, I think you knew that though... I've been wanting to write this for a while, but I'm way too emotionally** **attached to Yoite and the whole Nabari no ou story so... Enjoy the sad fluff!**

"Shijima_ and Kouichi gave me enough hope to go to Miharu... They helped me get through the defenses of the kairoushu... Thank you... everyone has been too nice me... Miharu... I wanted to see you so badly, just one more time before death takes me. I was scared you would turn me away, but you would never do that to me, to your Yoite... I always feel so safe and happy in your arms, I'm a greedy fool... Thank you for making this selfish idiot happy, for helping a mistake live... Miharu... I'm dieing... I... Why do I... What is this... Love..._  
_I am Yoite! I am Miharu's Yoite... I've found myself, before I die.. I finally know who i am... Thank you... And Yukimi... You gave me a home, and you saved Miharu... Thank you... Will you protect Miharu once I'm gone? I won't be able to anymore... But you... Did you get hurt after we left?.. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do now, my life's at it's end... Miharu... You're offering to use the shinribansho... You're screaming my name... I want to stay with you so badly, but I can't your life will be in danger, I couldn't do that to your... I... Love... You..."_

* * *

"I don't want you to disappear! Stay alive! We could stay together forever, Yoite." Miharu was close to tears, not wanting his precious Yoite to leave him. Together forever sounded cheesy and cliche, but it was a dream of a perfect future..._  
_

"Even if I'm a ninja in the world of nabari, I've... Killed so many people... That's why..." Yoite opened his eyes with difficulty as he said this, even though the older boy was having trouble speaking, Miharu interrupted._  
_

"Then I'll change all that, even the past!" Miharu knew Yoite didn't want that, but waves of emotion were lapping over him, washing away every last bit of reasoning and sense.

"But you... Don't desire that, do you? Even if you think about it, you don't desire it." Miharu looked at the blue eyed boy leaning on the railing, his entire being disagreeing with Yoite's words, keeping quiet all the same to make him happy.

"Because Miharu, you're kind." Yoite slowly reached up to touch Miharu's face, gently drawing comfort from the contact.  
_"Yoite, I'm not kind! I'm selfish, greedy, a horrible person... I want something other then your wish... It's not my place to want this..."_

"I will die soon, but... You have to live..." Miharu held Yoite's hand and cradled it close, not daring to look away from the older boy, afraid he'd disappear if he blinked... How could he live if Yoite wasn't in this world with him? How would he exist without there beloved, sweet, loving bond?

Miharu felt the cold hand gently tug, and he complied and leaned as close as could into the older boy's chest, the shinigami's body was warm even though his hands were icy.

"Thank you, Miharu..." The emerald eyed boy felt something warm and soft press against his forehead, Yoite's lips. Miharu stayed perfectly still, so as not to break the courage Yoite must've worked hard to gather. If it had happened under different circumstances, the kiss would've made Miharu so happy... But now it was working to break his heart, and fuel the selfish desire he was fighting so hard against.

"...For not asking anything about me, yet staying by my side," _But Yoite... It was so hard...I wanted to ask you so many things, to find out everything about you... I love you... _Thinking this and trying not to cry out from the pain of his heart, Miharu leaned closer and cuddled into Yoite's skinny body. _Don't go...  
_  
"For looking at me even when there was no reason to" Miharu simply listened, not trusting himself to speak. Savoring in the beautiful voice that had become stronger and stronger as it's owner talked and smiled more. Miharu dared to open his eyes for a second, Yoite was staring into the distance, beautiful cobalt blue orbs... There was acceptance there, but Miharu also saw contentment and sadness... The younger boy wouldn't let himself believe in this heartbreaking hopeful perception, but it seemed Yoite wanted something else... Something more...

"For never... Letting go of my hand..." Miharu slowly raised himself off Yoite's body, and looked at him with desperation in his eyes. The younger boy didn't believe in his wish, he wanted to look at his precious as much as he could before it was taken. _Yoite, we could live our entire lives holding hands... I'd never let go, ever...Where is this feeling coming from? I know it'll never be returned in full, I'm sorry for ever feeling this way... _Miharu seemed to have forgotten the sweet kiss Yoite had given him, or just thought it was a way of saying "Thank you."

"So... If you are so sad... That you cannot live... I want you to erase my existence..." _Yoite, I'll never be able to live without you, I'll always be too sad to live... I'm sorry._Miharu just held Yoite's hand, looking into sweet blue eyes, trembling... Trying so hard to suppress his selfish wish.

"Right now, at this moment, I am happy... With just the fact that you are thinking of me..." Yoite gave a smile that was happy, sad, and happy all at the same time.  
Such sweet words, but why had Yoite said them? The blue eyed teen would never have had the courage to say something like that... Then Miharu realized, Yoite was trying to say every thing he had ever wanted to say to Miharu in the last moments he had left, to die with no regrets. Upon that realization, Miharu felt something inside his heart snap, The pain became unbearable. An image was flowing into Miharu's head, a fragment of a forgotten dream that had left the boy in tears.  
They two dark haired boys were asleep, Yoite with his back leaned against a cherry tree loaded with sweet smelling blooms, Miharu was curled in the older boy's lap, both of them were gently holding each other. Bamboo and willow trees were all around, the atmosphere was so peaceful... They both looked as if they were in there twenties, but your attention was drawn immediately to two silver rings, they were wearing one a piece, both on there ring fingers.

"I want you to grant my wish... So you can smile and laugh in the future." Yoite put his gloved hands on the younger boy's cheeks, and Miharu leaned into his touch, eyes filling with tears he was trying to hold back. _  
"Yoite, how could I smile if you're not here, to show me your beautiful smile? How could I laugh if you're not here to laugh with me? I want so save you so much, we could have a future of smiles and laughter, together..."  
_Miharu was only snapped out of his wishing by the feeling of Yoite wrapping the scarf Hana had made for him around Miharu's neck as well, concern in his eyes. The loving, sad silence was deepened by the snow that was beginning to fall faster. _  
"It's almost Christmas..._"

* * *

"Miharu... Your okonomiyaki... They were warm and made me happy..." Yoite was leaning against Miharu's chest, not having the strength to hold himself up anymore, but all the same bearing a smile for Miharu.

"Oh... That's good, I'll make them again." Said Miharu with a broken voice, nuzzling his chin into Yoite's sweet smelling hair.

"Yeah... Make them..." Yoite hadn't meant the next words to be said, but they were.  
"I... Don't want to die... I love you Miharu..."

Those words were barely audible, but it was enough to make Miharu cave in to the waiting fairy. To save that precious person, Miharu was willing to do anything, except go against Yoite's wishes. But now he had been given an answer to his feelings, been given enough of a "yes" to help his precious person, the fairy broke free almost immediately.

* * *

When Yoite opened his eyes, at first he felt confusion, then relief, then fear. Miharu had saved him, and there was so much hope in that thought._ "Maybe Miharu... Maybe you will love me? Can I let myself fantasize?"_  
But Miharu was sobbing uncontrollably, he could be hurt... The main reason Yoite had told the emerald eyed boy not to use the Shinrabansho, was because the fairy might take the young boy's life, was she about to?...  
"Miharu? Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?" Yoite said frantically.

"Y-Yoite, d-do y-y-you h-hate m-me?" Miharu choked out through sobs, turning a tear stained face to cobalt orbs.

"Miharu, what would ever make me hate you?" Yoite said, trying to understand what had upset Miharu, still worried he'd caused some injury by getting his selfish wish granted.

"I-I c-c-couldn't l-l-let y-you g-go. I u-used the S-Shin-Shinribansho e-even t-though you t-told me n-not t-to! Y-Y-You'll leave m-me n-now w-w-won't you? I'll b-be a-a-alone n-now. C-Can I a-at l-l-least t-tell y-you g-g-goodbye b-before y-you g-go?" The thought of bring separated from Yoite, forever, just when it was possible to have that dream future was breaking the younger boy, tearing his heart to shreds.

"Miharu, I wanted to stay with you... I was just scared you would die. I want to live with you 'together forever'!"

Yoite stood up to try and comfort his crying friend, but immediately fell back to the ground. Nether of them had noticed before now, but Yoite's right leg was missing, it just ended right after knee, and the tiny bit of flesh remaining below that, was as black as hell itself.  
This triggered a renewed tsunami if sobs as Miharu realized he had lost his leg to the kira. If he had saved Yoite, why couldn't he have at least helped him? He had still sacrificed something to the kira!

"I-I-I'm s-sorry Y-Y-Yoite! D-Do y-y-you w-want me t-to c-call some-o-one t-to h-h-help y-you g-go? Y-You c-c-can't walk on y-your o-own, a-and y-y-you d-don't w-want m-m-me, b-b-because I-it's m-my f-f-fault." Miharu felt less then nothing, he wanted nothing more then to erase his own existence.

"Miharu, come here, now." Yoite said, a little chidingly. The blue eyed boy opened his arms sweetly, and smiled when Miharu came as quickly as it was physically possible to come. Collapsing on Yoite's chest, the violent sobs and the fairy had drained his energy, Miharu fisted the cloth of the black coat in his hands, and leaned into the older boy's embrace  
"I'm not going to leave, ever. You're not going to be alone. It's not your fault, and I can live with one leg, as long as I have Miharu."

"Y-Y-Yoite..." said Miharu, sobs slowly stopping.

"Hush." Yoite gave Miharu another beautiful, heart melting smile. Then the emerald eyed boy finally felt the effects of using the Shinrabansho, and he blacked out while he fell against Yoite's chest.  
Yoite looked down worriedly, then realized his precious Miharu was still breathing. Relief filled his heart, and he wrapped slender arms around the younger.

When the immortals found them around an hour later, Yoite still had a protective arm around Miharu, even though the older boy had passed out as well.

* * *

**Well, there it is :D I'm going to put another chapter, kind of an epilogue, either later today or tomorrow! I know this isn't the last chapter, but I'm telling you now, the entire engetsurin, imortals dieing, shinra beinf erased thing will happen like it does, just with Yoite there... I don't feel up to it, and my version would be pretty darn similar to the original, so I'm not gonna write that :) I'm probably going to continue in this universe, the one where Yoite survives... Reviews, please?  
~Yoitemichealis**


	2. Together, Forever

**Here's the last chapter, like an hour after the first! :D So... Happy early Thanksgiving everyone! And enjoy this fluff, it's fluffy! And short... bleh, gomen ne  
**

* * *

Miharu peeked shyly around the corner of the hospital room, nervous for no real reason.  
He had woken up from his one-month slumber yesterday, and was coming to visit Yoite, who was in the hospital under the care of Kazuho.  
As Miharu looked through the narrow hospital door, he saw Yoite's clean white fingers moving needles in and out of a pale green scarf, the ball of yarn beside them. The blue eyed male sitting, propped up by two pillows. But, what made the waves of self hatred start to ripple, was the half constructed artificial leg connected to Yoite's own, the entire limb was resting on a cushion.

"Y-Yoite?..." Miharu said, sounding as shy as he felt.

"Miharu! I'm so glad you're awake! I was worried..." a few tears of joy leaked out of cobalt eyes as Yoite said this.

_"I made him worry... But, he cares about me, right?"_

"Yoite," Miharu said, starting to cry a little bit.

"Don't cry! You were crying last time you were awake, I wanna see a smile!" said Yoite, just barely pleading.

"B-But Yoite, I used the Shinribansho, against your wishes..." said the green eyed boy, tears coming faster now.

"You're still upset about that? It's what I wanted, Miharu!" Yoite said, trying to reason with the younger boy.  
"I thought I'd be content to die with you holding me, but I wasn't. I wanted more, to spend more time with you, with Miharu!"

"Are you two getting sappy on me?" nether had noticed Yukimi in the room until he spoke, all there focus was on eachother. In reaction to Yukimi's words, Yoite grabbed a pillow and held it over his head threateningly.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm glad you're awake, Miharu, it's been quiet without you." Yukimi walked to Yoite's bedside, and hit Miharu on the back.

"I should probably leave the lovebirds alone, shouldn't I? See ya later, brats!" the produced scarlet red blushes for both the boys, and Miharu almost shoved Yukimi out of the room.  
Still not trusting his blush enough to meet Yoite's eyes, Miharu looked down instead, and only then remembered the small bouquet of roses clutched in his right hand.

"K-Kouichi said I should bring you flowers, a-as a get well gift. Here!" Miharu literally tossed the bouquet into Yoite's lap.

"Miharu, thank you, I love roses..." only then did Miharu meet Yoite's eyes, just to find the were incredibly close to his own.  
Then, before he figured out what was happening, Yoite had closed the distance between them and pressed there lips together in a shy, sweet kiss.  
Seeing how weak his resolve was when it came to Yoite shook Miharu off of his fragile, sane ledge, but for the first time since everything started, a beautiful thought filled his head.  
_"Everything is going to be okay, we'll live together, always."  
_And that thought stayed there as the arm not hooked up to the IV wrapped around Miharu's shoulders, and smaller fingers tangled in obsidian hair.

Miharu suddenly felt breathless words being whispered on his lips.  
"Miharu, are we flying?"  
"Yes... I think we are..."

_Everything will be alright... Everyone will be happy... We'll be happy, forever..._

* * *

**Well, I told you guys how I'm gonna do the end of the manga, so... So how'd you guys like it? Reviews please!  
I love you guys,  
~Yoitemichealis~**


End file.
